These sandwiches will mess you up (in the best possible way)

I'm sure that your first reaction on going to Cleveland is something along the lines of a very enthusiastic, wholehearted "Meh." Well, seriously... dare I say I love Cleveland, after today. Here is something that will absolutely blow your mind.

Here. This. Go here. Please just go here.

Melt Bar & Grilled has had some awesome media coverage, including Man vs. Food, NBC, USA Today, and so on and so on. I heard about it through my friend who is an executive chef at a fancy food establishment back in Seattle, and he gave me the "you just have to try it" speech. The concept is .. basically, gigantic gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. They've gained some notoriety for having a "tattoo club": anyone who gets a Melt tattoo gets a 25% discount off of their sandwiches/meals for life. There are over 200 people who have done this.

They have three separate locations in Lakewood, Cleveland Heights, and Independence. I went to the Lakewood restaurant, and it was really hip and pretty big -- there's a full service bar with great local beers, the waiters are super friendly, and there are a ton of both meaty/cheesy and vegetarian/vegan options. Their special sandwich for the month was a "meatloaf melt," and I went ahead and had the vegan version of that.

Seriously. Go here.

No joke, this sandwich will feed you for a week. A family of four. A pack of hungry, vicious, vegan tigers. A horde of relentless cheese and meat hungry gorillas. It was several thousand kinds of delicious. The bread was phenomenally crispy and fluffy, the meatloaf was pretty dense, and the sandwich itself was packed full of mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. In a sandwich. What is this, Christmas??

Their menu is huge, their beers are great, the portion sizes will put you in your place and the sandwiches are, for lack of a better word, one-of-the-best-things-I've-ever-eaten-oh-my-goodness. It will make you happy to be in Cleveland and itching to come back.

website yelp

Like a TGIFriday’s that didn’t sell out

A foggy night in downtown Sacramento

A few of my aunts and uncles lived in Sacramento back in their youth and, when I asked for suggestions of places to go at night in Sacramento, one of them answered immediately with what turned out to be a great place to get a little local flavor, cheap booze, and some pretty tasty burgers. Fanny Ann’s Saloon is in Old Sac and is a 4-level building that was originally, you guessed it, a saloon. There’s kitsch everywhere and license plates nailed to the wall from all over. One Yelper wrote this apt description: “Imagine a universe where a TGI Friday's was actually cool and not a gimmick.”

A few interesting things before you go:

• The place has four levels and the atmosphere on each is different, so check them all. The bar/food counter is on one, an arcade area on another, karaoke on another, and a level with more secluded booth dining.
• The bartenders make STIFF drinks, so make sure you know how you’re getting back to the hotel safely. They also don’t keep tabs, so pay in cash or you can charge $5 to your credit card and get wooden coins to use as payment.
• Be wary of the restrooms; choose your door wisely.
• Good food and drink specials are listed on their website

[ official site ] – [ Yelp ]

Phoenix Pasties

No, not the stripper kind. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Staying in Mesa, AZ and in need of some tasty treats? Look no further than the Cornish Pasty Company near Arizona State University.

This place is tucked away on the wrong side of an already too tiny strip mall and it’s about 3 feet too narrow inside, but once you’re there, it all somehow seems to fit. The place is filled with hipster kids, tatted from head to toe, but they cook some mean pasties. Just trust me on this one.

[ official website]
[ Yelp page ]

Yeee-haw in OKC!

My first visit to Oklahoma City entailed staying at the Clarion Meridian Hotel near the airport and, of course, being thoroughly unimpressed by the facilities. Having driven a few hours from Texas and not looking forward to staying at that hotel, my presenter and I were pretty tired and willing to settle for one of the many chain restaurants in the area.

We drive down the road and pass this one place with a parking lot that was absolutely PACKED. Well, this is usually a good sign, so we stopped to check it out. Enter Cimarron Steakhouse:

We walk right in and I’m immediately cheered up because of the bombastically-incredible décor. I mean, just look at the place! It was huge and absolutely full of Western-themed souvenirs. Old timey wagons, Cowboys & Indians dioramas, animal pelts, and lots & lots of leather. Leather everywhere.

The food is decidedly mediocre, but don’t let that stop you from checking it out. If you’re in the mood for good ol’ fashioned Western food, this is the place because it is Cheap (with a capital ‘C’)! The meat was really good (chicken fried steak for me) and I would say that and the place’s atmosphere are really the best reasons to go there.

The salad was laughable (more lettuce with my dressing, please) and the rice was pretty bland, but when you look around and realize every other person in the joint is wearing denim (skirts, overalls, whatever), it’ll bring a smile to your face. At least it did for me.

[ Yelp review ]

Airport Sushi in Portland

Flying out of Portland, OR with some time to kill? Don’t go through security just yet and check out the Beaches restaurant near the D gates.

Front dining area of Beaches restaurant during weekday Happy Hour

My cab driver used to work as a manager there and told me to check out some of their happy hour specials during my wait before flying out of Portland. The place was pretty full of business travelers ordering food and multiple drinks. $2 4-piece sushi rolls, $4 margaritas/cocktails/house wine, and other such deals. No to-go orders of course, but TSA probably wouldn’t like you trying to sneak some sushi rolls through the x-ray anyway.

For $2, these rolls were simplistic but very tasty

Artichokin’ in Manhattan

I had my first taste of Artichoke Basille’s pizza after being introduced to it by Tyler B. on a one-night trip into NYC from Newark (because what the hell else were we supposed to do?). We were getting drunk in the East Village and looking for some late-night snacks. He had been to the area before and knew that it was a short walk, would be open, and was awesome good.

Three nights later, during my stayover in the city, I found myself heading back to the place. Their specialty spinach and artichoke pizza is amazing and they serve huge to-go cups of Bud Light for $5.50. There are other things to buy, but I’d say are hardly worth mentioning in comparison. Two visits in four days and two cases of burnt hard palate. Totally worth it, though.

 

The East Village location is really popular, being just a short walk down 14th from both Trader Joe’s and Union Square (where you can catch the L train to Brooklyn). They have one more location in Chelsea and are opening another in Greenwich Village soon.

[ official site ] [ Yelp page ]

Jonge-what’s?

 A Long Beach favorite for decades!

If you feel a little bored on the drive between Pasadena and Anaheim, I would suggest taking a detour through Long Beach. Sure, go ahead and do some sightseeing in the downtown/Seal Beach area because it’s nice, but head north towards the 405 and the airport when you get hungry.

I think this quote from LA Times food writer Russ Parsons sums up the place nicely:

“Its food will never be mistaken for cuisine — nothing is reimagined and garnishes are usually limited to a single sprig of parsley — but over the last 15 years, I would guess that my family has averaged at least two meals a week there, and if I was being completely honest, probably more. If you’re lucky, you have a place like it near you.” [ link ]

Pronounced something like “young ward’s,” I was introduced to Jongewaard’s by a presenter who grew up in the Long Beach area and has been a frequenter of the restaurant for the last 50+ years (she always gets the burger special with a slice of lemon cream pie). If that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will.

Whatever appeals to you on the menu (to-die-for chicken pot pie), please make sure to get some of their baked goods for desert. Cake, pie, cookies, cinnamon buns, and on and on and on!